


Death of a Bachelor

by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Shatt Week 2018, Weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-08 16:36:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14109531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticReactions/pseuds/BossToaster
Summary: Matt's not sure why he thought lying about a boyfriend for ten months was a good idea.  But now his parents are renewing their vows, and he doesn't have any more excuses.Lucky for him, his roommate, Shiro, is willing to 'date' him for a few days.Unlucky for them, they have to pull it off.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this one isn't likely to have a consistent update schedule. It was supposed to be a one shot that just wouldn't be contained. I have a couple of chapters ready to go, but I don't really have a plan for it. For right now, have this for the Wedding day of Shatt Week.

“You brought this on yourself, you know.”

Matt didn’t pick his face up from his desk.  “Shut up.”

A pen prodded at his temple, trying to push his head over.  Matt resisted, and instead it smacked against the top of his skull.  “You did,” Pidge insisted, as if that was the part Matt was arguing about.  “If you’d just told Mom and Dad the truth, this wouldn’t be happening.”

“I know,” Matt said.  He reached up and snatched at the pen, but his fingers closed around open air.  “I know that. Shut up.”

“Just tell them the truth.”

Matt sighed and finally picked his head up.  Pidge stared back, flipping her pen between her fingers.  She didn’t even have the grace to look worried for him, or smug at his problems.  Instead, she wore the same look she did while watching videos of puppies running into walls or falling off couches.

Worse, Matt couldn’t even argue her point.  He felt like a Youtube fail compilation.

“I can’t tell them.  Mom already told her university friends, and Dad told Grandma, and Grandma told  _ everyone. _  If it was just some nice family dinner I’d come clean, but now everyone’s waiting to meet my boyfriend.”  Matt scrubbed over his face. “My sweet, shy boyfriend.”

“Your fake boyfriend.”  Pidge rolled her eyes and went back to sketching out some sort of design.  

Matt gave another groan and slumped back onto the desk.  “My fake boyfriend, yeah. Thanks.”

The pen jabbed at the top of his head.  This time, when Matt swatted it away, he made contact.  It smacked onto the floor several feet away.

“Ow,” Pidge muttered.  “Hey, don’t get mad at me.  I told you this was a stupid idea.  You should have faked a break-up ages ago, if you were that attached to the lie.”

Matt turned his head so he was facing the wall rather than wood.  “Yeah, but then the questions would start up. And I just- I can’t.”

His parents were just worried.  They wanted the best for him. Matt knew all of that, but it didn’t mean he liked the way they showed it.  He did the things he was supposed to - he was back in school, though taking only half the classes he had been.  He was still seeing a therapist, and even liked the sessions. Most of the time. More than half, even.

But it felt like every victory, everything Matt achieved to put his life back ‘on track’ faded too fast.  It was great that he was back in school, but how were his grades? Why wasn’t his GPA what it used to be? 

Above all: Have you made friends?  Have you joined any groups? Are you seeing anyone?

Matt got it.  He was different, now.  He used to be more social before, and so recovery to his parents looked like getting back to that.  Even if his therapist said he was doing well, even if that wasn’t what Matt wanted to do. The past was normalcy, and that was where Mom and Dad wanted to return.

So, Matt had taken the path of least resistance.  He lied.

It had been simple at first.  When Mom asked, he said he was going on a date the next weekend.  No big deal, just hanging out, getting coffee. Then, the next week, she’d asked how it had gone.  If Matt said the date didn’t work out, she’d want to know why and talk about the details, and Matt didn’t have the energy to lie that much.  So instead he said it went fine. 

On and on.  Matt never gave a name, and claimed his boyfriend was shy.  He knew his parents were suspicious of that point, but they didn’t seem to realize the whole thing was a fabrication, not just pieces. 

It should have gotten complicated.  It did get complicated, actually. But Matt cheated.  

He pretended his boyfriend was Shiro.

When they went out for coffee and to study together, Matt had a coffee date with his boyfriend.  When Shiro wanted to go see the latest nonsense sci-fi movie, so did Matt’s boyfriend. On days when Matt was struggling, Shiro was there.  Shock of shocks, there was Matt’s boyfriend, too.

It made it easier to keep the details straight.  Even if it occasionally felt weird.

All of it had worked.  It had been great, even.  Mom and Dad seemed happier, if confused by the vague details of the man himself.  Matt didn’t have to deal with the constant ‘are you socializing?’ questions. Shiro didn’t even know he was the skeleton of Matt’s fake boyfriend.

Until Mom and Dad decided to renew their vows for their 30th anniversary.  They told Matt it would be so nice if his boyfriend would come. It’s a family event, and it’s been almost a year - we’d love to finally meet him.

The lie had caught up to him.  But now it just wasn’t Matt’s discomfort on the line: there was no way to come clean without also telling all of Mom’s friends and their combined family that Matt was a liar who wasn’t coping right.  Both of them were going to be so disappointed, and the questions would come back, and Matt just didn’t have the time.

“I can’t,” Matt repeated, finally picking his head back up.  “I have to figure something out. Do you think they’ll buy that he’s too busy or didn’t want to come?”

Pidge shrugged.  “I mean, yeah. But they’ll probably not like him much after that.”

‘Sucky boyfriend because he didn’t want to come to your parents stupid vow renewal crap’ was probably a harsh judgment.  But it would definitely stick. If Matt just said the boyfriend was sick, it would sound like an excuse not to come.

“Okay, so you can’t tell the truth, and you can’t say he can’t come.  So you just need to get a boyfriend. In a week.” Pidge eyed him critically.  “Maybe wear a different shirt when you go looking.”

Matt frowned down at his t-shirt.  “What’s wrong with it?” Pidge tapped the collar of her own shirt, so he pulled his down farther.

Oh.  Salsa stain.  Yeah, fair.

“I’m not going to be able to get anyone who can keep up that level of lie.”  Matt smacked the meat of his palm against his forehead. “I can barely keep track, and only ‘cause I’ve been just telling them about hanging out with Shiro.  How is someone else supposed to keep up with a year of that?”

There was a long silence.

Matt looked at his sister, who smiled back.

“There you go.” She said.  “That’s it.”

“What’s it?”  Matt asked, blinking rapidly.  

Pidge huffed and picked her pen off the ground.  “Just ask Shiro to be your date for a night. He can keep it up, ‘cause he was at all your ‘dates’.”

…That wasn’t wrong.  Putting aside if Shiro would agree to it or not, he was probably the only person who could get all the details right.

It didn’t solve everything, though.  “I told them I was seeing someone they didn’t know,” Matt said.  “They know Shiro. Mom sends him care packages. I think Baebae loves him more than me.”

“Shiro takes Baebae on walks and you don’t,” Pidge replied.  “But you’re going to have to take a hit somewhere. They’re already suspicious of your super shy boyfriend.  If you tell them you hid that you were dating Shiro so they’d stop bugging you about going out, that’d explain away everything weird.”

Oh.

Yes, it would

Matt slumped back in his chair, staring at Pidge.  “You evil genius.”

Smiling back, Pidge nodded.  “Yup.”

“How’d you get to be such a sneaky little shit?”

Pidge shrugged.  “Natural talent.”

No matter what, Matt was going to be in trouble.  The lie had gotten too big and too complicated to continue.  But this would make sense to Mom and Dad, and Matt could convincingly bluff being in love with Shiro.  Who wasn’t a little in love with Shiro? He was a beefy astrophysicist that basically saved cats from trees.  He was Clark Kent if he was openly Superman and also a Star Trek nerd.

It was the only workable version of the plan that didn’t involve ruining his parents’ vow renewals.  Matt would come totally clean after, if it came to that. But he didn’t want to turn what was supposed to be a nice, lovely day about his parents’ marriage into ‘Matt is a lying fuck-up.’

“Now you just have to ask him,” Pidge said.

Oh, right.

Shoot.

***

Matt smiled winsomely at Shiro, his hands folded demurely on the table.

Shiro stared back, fork still hanging from his mouth.  It had been there since Matt had asked him to be his fake boyfriend, about a minute ago.

“It’s not a big deal,” Matt said, for probably the fourth time.  “It’s just, you know, I really don’t want to ruin my parents’ wedding?  Second wedding. Wedding remix. Wedding DLC. But, uh- you don’t have to!  That’s not trying to pressure you. Or anything. It’s uh, it’s really cool if you don’t want to go.  Weddings are crazy boring. Or, uh, I mean, you’re invited too? I without being my fake boyfriend. Mom told me to remind you the wedding colors.  I don’t know why she wanted to do that.”

Finally, Shiro pulled his fork from his mouth and dropped it in his plate.  Spaghetti sauce splattered over his t-shirt, and he didn’t notice.

Ha, take that, annoying sister.  Maybe Matt had salsa on his shirt, but Shiro had stains too.  Vindication. Probably. Somehow.

Matt was rambling in his own head, now.  That was a new low.

“It’s to match with a tie, or a pocket square,” Shiro finally said.

Matt blinked.  “What?”

Flapping a hand at him, Shiro sighed.  “You said you didn’t know why to tell me the colors.  That’s why. To match. That was nice of her. Did she say what kind of blue?”

Pausing, Matt stared at Shiro.  “I can ask, but- seriously, Shiro?”

“That’s why she said it!”

Matt jabbed his fork at him.  “That’s not what I mean! I asked you to go as my fake boyfriend.  Will you or not?”

Stabbing a meatball, Shiro frowned back.  “You seriously told your parents we’re dating?”

“No, I told them I was dating someone else.  I just pretended us hanging out was those dates.”

Shiro’s frown deepened.  “Did you not want to hang out?  If you wanted to go out more, you always can.  I don’t mind you hanging out less.”

Was he fucking serious?

Throwing his hands up, Matt groaned in the back of his throat.  Then he stormed out of his chair and over to the fridge. Pulling out an energy drink, he pressed the cold can to his forehead, and sat back down.  “You’re being dense.”

“I don’t understand what you’re saying!”

“That’s why you’re dense!”  Matt scowled at him, unmoved by Shiro’s glare.  “I told them I was dating so my parents would shut up about how I need to get out more.  I don’t want to hang out less. I like hanging out. You’re one of two people who doesn’t exhaust me.”

Shiro blinked, and sat up straighter.  “Oh. That’s okay, then.”

There was a long pause, as Shiro started to eat again, and Matt continued to stare.

Finally, Matt smacked his can on the table.  The noise made Shiro jump, eyes wide. Regret tugged at Matt, but not enough to feel really bad.  Shiro jumped at least a dozen times a day. Hypervigilance was like that. It sucked, but making a big deal out of it would just made Shiro defensive, and that wasn’t what this conversation needed.  

“Do you. Want to go.  To my parent’s wedding.  With me?”

Shiro blinked at him.  “Yeah, sure. I mean, we’d basically be going together anyway.  I don’t know the rest of your family, but I’m not going to tell your parents no.”  His nose crinkled. “Sam offered to pay for the suit, if I needed it.”

“Did you say yes?”

Shiro scowled.  “No way.”

Matt’s brow rose.  “Do you own a suit?”

The scowl darkened.  “No, but I’ll get one.  I have savings.”

Not a lot, Matt knew.  What they could spare between rent, food, insurance, therapy, and all the other little costs of living.  Then again, when things got really bad, Shiro seemed to find a spare stash of money somewhere. Either he was turning tricks on the corner (not impossible), or Shiro had money somewhere else he didn’t talk about and tried not to use.

Matt didn’t pry. He’d rather not know and have to worry about it.  If Shiro wanted to talk about it, he would.

“They don’t mind.  They can afford it.”  Matt shrugged, and ignored Shiro’s clear displeasure.  “But fine, whatever. It’s not just the being there and the suit.  It’s fake dating. We’re going to have to be like…” He threaded the fingers of both hands together.  “Boyfriends.”

Shiro looked over Matt’s face, then snorted.  Loudly. “Oh, no. I might have to kiss you. I’ll burst into flames.  Save me, ahhh.”

Crossing his arms, Matt huffed.  “C’mon. You have boundaries. You’re not very… touchy.”

“I can manage for an evening or two,” Shiro said.  “Besides, how many movies have we watched while you’re basically in my lap?”

“We really need a bigger couch,” Matt said.  “Make my parents pay for the suit and use the money for a couch, instead.”

“No.”

Fine, fine.  “Alright, it won’t kill you.  But you know you’re going to get the third degree, right?”  Matt’s expression sobered, and his shoulders slumped. “They’re going to be mad at both of us if we do this.”

Shiro considered, idly twirling his spaghetti around his fork.  “That won’t be fun,” he admitted, voice lowering. “But it’ll only be for a few days.  I’ll survive. And, you’re right. I’d rather everyone focus on Colleen and Sam rather than your lie.  I can’t believe you got yourself into this mess.”

Stabbing into a meatball, Matt looked away.  “Like you don’t lie about how good you’re doing.”

There was silence at that.  Yeah, it was a low blow, but only as much as rubbing Matt’s nose in this.  Neither of them wanted to tell his parents the truth. They were happier thinking they were functional.  And they were, most days. The devil was just always in the details.

“So, our hang outs have been dates, then,” Shiro finally said, totally ignoring the topic change.  “I can manage that. Are we sexually active?”

Matt squeaked.

That earned him an unimpressed look.  “If we’re dating, I assume you’ve thought about it,” Shiro said, chin raised primly.

Yeah, well, Matt hadn’t thought about it in real life.  At least, not very seriously. It was objectively true that Shiro was horrifically attractive.  Being a heroic, compassionate nerd who adored his little sister didn’t help. But that crush had been smothered under a mental pillow years ago.  Other than the occasional guilty jerk-off session, and more than one movie cuddle session that was a little closer than normal, Matt had put it behind him.

Except now he was really thinking about it.  And it was a nice mental image.

Okay, maybe this plan wasn’t smart for all new reasons.

“Uh, I mean… it’s been a while.  Like, nearly ten months. So, yeah, I guess so.”  Matt’s brows rose, ignoring his own less-than-suave reaction.  “Unless you’re waiting for marriage?”

Shiro snorted loudly.  “No, definitely not. I assume we’re not going to have to answer many questions about that?  Should I know your kinks, Matt?”

Heat bloomed over Matt’s cheeks.  Not for the first time, he cursed his pale skin, and how badly his blushes always showed.  “I doubt it. But just in case, I’ll tell everyone you like a good spanking, Starshine.”

That didn’t even earn him a blink.  “Do I call you Sir?” Shiro asked, bone dry.

It wasn’t the only bone in the room.

Matt slunk down farther in his chair, ignoring the sudden spark of heat in his stomach.  His libido had been on and off since the accident. To say the least. Matt had considered finding someone (or something) to sate it with, on the occasions he felt interested.  But it had always been such a bother, and it involved people. Not worth it. So he’d just let it stew.

That might have been a bad idea, now that it was back.

Dammit, Matt liked hearing Shiro call him that.

“Only if I call you my little Princess,” Matt said, way too late to be cool.

Shiro snorted around his water.  “Sure, if that’s what gets you off.  Just don’t say it in front of your dad.  Or your mom. Or your dog. I need their respect.”

“You think you’d lose their respect for being a naughty, spanked princess?  You know them better than that, Shirogane.”

Finally, a hint of color appeared over Shiro’s cheeks.  Even so, he shrugged and took a bite of spaghetti. “Fine, I need to be able to look them in the eye without cringing.”

Fair enough.  “We’ll keep it subtle.  I don’t really think you’re a PDA guy.”  Matt paused, then considered. He’d never actually seen Shiro with a significant other, so what did he know?  They were busy guys, and while Shiro occasionally came back in the early morning in the same clothes he’d left, there hadn’t been a long term partner.  At least, not that Matt knew about.

Would Shiro tell Matt if he had a fuck buddy?

Should Matt want him to?

“Not disgustingly so,” Shiro replied.  “But it’s a wedding, and I’m your date.  I think some kissing and casual contact wouldn’t be amiss.”

Probably not.  Matt nodded and used his fork to scrape up the last of the sauce, then sucked it off the prongs.  He ignored Shiro’s disgusted look with practiced ease. “Yeah. You mind of I cop a feel or two?”

“Where?”

Oh, excellent question.  Matt draped himself back in his chair and looked Shiro over with a hungry eye.  Sadly, the blush had already faded, and Shiro just stared back calmly. No fun at all.

Matt finally shrugged.  “Ass, probably. Chest groping would be a little weird at my parent’s wedding remix.”

“Agreed.”  Shiro picked up his plate, then snagged up Matt’s empty one as well.  He dodged Matt’s half-hearted grab for it, and walked to the sink.

Really, Matt should object to Shiro cleaning up after him more.  It definitely wasn’t fair. But Shiro was the only reason their apartment was ever clean.  When he was stressed and couldn’t do anything about it, Shiro went into almost violent bursts of tidying. He did the dishes, he wiped down the counters and moped the floors, he vacuumed the carpet, he dusted the electronics - the whole nine yards.  Matt did the bare minimum when he was feeling good, but his stress response was to hole up in his room and play video games until 12 hours disappeared without his notice.

Then again, Matt thought he paid it back when Shiro was at his worst.  He’d spent dozens of nights sitting against the far wall in Shiro’s room, talking about nothing while his best friend shivered himself back to reality after a nightmare.  When Shiro’s schedule inevitably got too full between work and school, and he took on too much because he didn’t know how to say ‘no’, Matt was there to help unfuck his life.

Both of them were messed up, but it was in ways that sometimes helped each other, and only occasionally clashed.  And Matt lived with someone who got it when he was off. That was worth every sleepless night and helping Shiro clean out the long-since-molded boxes of leftover take-out from his bad weeks.

Real life was gross and awkward and messed up.

But they figured it out as they went.  So far, it had worked. Matt figured that meant he could rely on it, at least for a little while longer.

“Thank you,” Matt said, quiet and vehement.  “For doing this.”

Shiro glanced over his shoulder and smiled back.  “Yeah. I mean, I’m only half doing this for you, anyway.  I want Colleen and Sam to have a nice day.”

That was fair.  Matt was doing this for the same reason.  “Even so, you’re doing me a big favor for my dumb mistake.  So just accept a damn thank you for once, Flyboy.”

Softening, Shiro nodded.  “Yeah, alright. You’re welcome.  If you really want to thank me, watch Next Gen with me tonight.”

Matt groaned and flopped dramatically against the table.  “You heathen. You cruel bastard.”

“Mhmm.”

“Fine.  Anything for my boyfriend.”

Shiro perked.  “Oh, those are nice words.”

Yeah, this was a really dumb idea.

But as Matt grinned into the tabletop, he couldn’t regret a thing.


	2. Chapter 2

“Is this a fucking joke?”

Matt jumped a solid foot in the air and yanked his headphones off.  He turned around in his chair to stare at Keith. “Dude, knocking?”

Frowning, Keith shrugged one shoulder.  “I did. You didn’t hear.”

Oh, whoops.  Matt hadn’t turned on the noise canceling function, but the headphones were still pretty good at blocking out sound.  It was doing a damn good job of muffling the chatter and competitive posturing down the hall.

“Fine, whatever.  Is what a joke?” Matt turned the chair around completely and crossed his arms.

It was beyond odd to see Keith in his room.  Around the apartment, sure. Keith crashed on their couch so often that Matt was tempted to make him pay rent.  He and Shiro had that probably-not-totally-healthy codependency thing going, where Shiro was the reason Keith ever spoke to humans, and Keith was the main reason Shiro put in the effort to look functioning.

For all that, Matt and Keith were… well, they were fine, usually.  Keith was easy to rile up, and Matt was bad at resisting. Otherwise, it was like Keith was his quieter, third roommate.  Of all of Shiro’s friends, Keith was the hardest to talk to, but that wasn’t really a fair fight. Hunk was in the same program as Matt, Lance was desperate to be liked by everyone, and Pidge was his little sister.

So, getting snarled at?  Not exactly how Matt appreciated being greeted, thanks so much.

“The whole…”  Keith rolled a hand and huffed.  “Wedding thing. Dating. All that crap.  What the hell is this?”

Matt tensed further, watching Keith warily.  “What, you think I’m pranking Shiro? Yeah, sure, I’ve got Ashton Kutcher camped out at my parents house, ready to jump out with the whole MTV camera crew.  Surprise, Shiro, you briefly believed that I lied to my parents! Whoo, punked!”

Frowning, Keith narrowed his eyes in a way that meant he didn’t get the reference.

“Never mind.  The point is that it’s not a joke.  I don’t even know how it would be one.  Pretty stupid prank.” Matt shrugged. “What’s lit your fuse, Cherry Bomb?”

Keith continued to stare him down, brows drawn together darkly.  “It’s weird. This whole plan is weird. You’ve been telling your parents you were dating Shiro for months?  Why?”

Oh, boy.  How to explain how overbearing parental concern could be to Keith without sounding like a total asshole.

…Probably not possible.

“They were worried, and I wanted them to stop.  Apparently I’m not ‘actively social’ anymore, or whatever the fuck.”  Matt shrugged one shoulder. “Look, the reasons are boring and you’re just gunna give me that judging look.  Yeah, that one. The one you’re making right now.”

“No, I’m not,” Keith insisted, while he continued to look at Matt like he was the world’s biggest idiot.  “You’d better not be planning to tease him about this. Or about anything he does for your dumb plan. If this is a set-up to put him in some kind of weird romantic situation and make him squirm, you won’t like the consequences.”

As much as Matt would have loved to laugh Keith off, he found himself swallowing hard instead.  Because Keith was scary. For Shiro he was pure loyalty and sweetness, but he also knew very well how to use that knife of his.  At least, Matt was pretty sure he did. 

So Matt shook his head.  “It’s not for that. I mean, I’m not promising we won’t end up in weird situations.  But it’ll be both of us. And Shiro doesn’t squirm in public, you know that. I’m going to be the one suffering.”

Keith finally nodded, though it was slowly.  “Fine. I guess Pidge would have stopped you if it was a prank.”  He took a deep breath and leaned against the door frame, looking Matt over.  He looked pissed, still, but at least not like he actively wanted to get in Matt’s face.  “Seriously, though. Don’t- don’t be too much.”

“I genuinely don’t know what you mean about that,” Matt replied slowly.  “I’m kind of too much as a default. I don’t specialize in chill, you know.”

Snorting, Keith rolled his eyes.  “You really don’t. Fine. I just mean that you should go easy on him.  He has enough crap going on in his life, he doesn’t need more stress on top of it.  He’s doing this because you’re his friend and he likes you, but that doesn’t give you free range to mess around with him.”

That was still a weird thing to say.  Really, what did Keith think was happening, here?  That Matt was leading Shiro out so he could kidnap him and tie him to the railroad tracks?

“I’ll be gentle with him.  Like I’m taking his v-card on prom night.  Promise.”

Keith’s face darkened again, but he let it go with a sigh.  “Fine. Whatever. I warned you. If he comes back hurt, you’ll hurt next.  Hunk’s making lunch, now. You want some?”

The abrupt change in conversation made Matt pause.  Did he want lunch? On one hand, whatever Hunk had brought would be amazing.  On the other, that required socializing. He’d been perfectly content to stay holed up in his room until now, and that was before Keith bust in to threaten him.

On some level, it was still weird that his little sister and her friends came over to hang with Shiro, and often left without more than a hi to Matt.  On the other, he really only had himself to blame for that, since he was the one who hid.

Matt finally nodded and pushed himself up.  Then he winced, because he’d been sitting on his leg the whole time, and now it was asleep.  “Ow. Agh. I’ll be there in a bit. Gimme a second.”

Keith eyed him again, this time amused.  Then he nodded and walked out, leaving the door open behind him.

After a solid minute of awkwardly wincing and carefully putting weight on his leg, Matt followed out.  When he stepped into the kitchen, the rest of the ragtag band was already settling in for lunch. “Ah, there’s my favorite!  It’s been forever!” Matt called, throwing his arms wide.

Pidge snorted and rolled her eyes.  “I saw you yesterday.”

“Not you.”  Matt circled the table and beamed at Hunk.  “Hey, there. How’d Jameson’s test go?”

Eyes wide, Hunk beamed.  “I’m your favorite?”

“Uh, duh.  My darling protege.  The mechanical engineer after my own heart.  The sunshine of our lives.” Matt opened his arms a little wider, making it clear he was going in for a hug.

The smile went sly.  “Oh, I get it. I’m your favorite ‘cause I feed you?”  But Hunk did give him a powerful squeeze, enough to lift Matt off the floor.

Smacking his shoulder, Matt wheezed dramatically.  “Air! C’mon, man, air!” When he was put down, he sucked in a big breath.  “Yes, a little because you feed me. But mostly you’re the only nice one, so I have to appreciate you.”

“I’m nice!” Lance insisted, bottom lip sticking out.

Keith snorted.  “You told me my hair looked like a dog’s ass.”

“It does.  I was being a good friend by telling you that.”  Lance stuck his nose in his air. 

Hunk nodded to the table and patted Matt on the back.  “You’re already invited to eat. The Jameson test sucked, and I haven’t looked at my score yet.  I’ll let you know.”

“Hey, don’t let me keep you from avoiding your grades until they don’t exist.  Works for me.” Matt sat down next to Shiro and hooked an arm around his. “Hello, sweetie.”

Shiro didn’t even blink.  “Hello, darling.”

Nose crinkled, Pidge looked between them both.  “Oh, it’s going to be really weird to watch you two.  Are you going to be like this the whole time?”

“Worse.”  Matt leaned up, and only hesitated a moment before pecking Shiro on the cheek.  “You’re too tall. It’s inconvenient. Shrink, please.”

“No.  Get taller.”  Shiro glanced down at Matt, then purposefully straightened up, so he’d have even farther to go.

Rude.

Lance tapped the salt shaker against the table.  “That was lame, anyway. C’mon, kiss like you mean it.  I wanna see some tongue.”

“Don’t make them kiss just so you can get your kicks,” Keith muttered.  His gaze was firmly on them both, and he had that same, dark look that promised retribution.

Seriously, what was his problem?  Shiro had agreed to this. He was a big boy, he could decide if he wanted to play at being Matt’s boyfriend for a weekend.  He didn’t need Keith being his knight in shining armor for something he’d walked into with no illusions.

The oven beeped, and Hunk scooped out a baking dish.  He set it down on a hot pad and flourished with his spatula.  “I mean, they might as well get used to kissing now, right? We’ll tease, but they won’t get in trouble if it’s weird.  Better to figure it out now.”

“I think we can manage to kiss just fine, thank you,” Shiro replied.  He took a deep breath, smelling the food, then let it out as a groan. “That smells amazing.  This the same lasagna recipe as last time?”

Hunk held his two mitt-covered hands so close they were nearly touching.  “Just a little different. I tried a different ratio of meats this time. We’ll see if you notice.”

“We totally won’t, and it’ll be delicious.  You made this just for lunch?” Pidge took the spatula to help cut the lasagna into slices.

“Nope, he made it last night.  This is leftovers. It’s amazing.”  Lance closed his eyes and patted his stomach.  “I could eat this all day forever and never get tired of it.”

Rolling his eyes, Hunk didn’t bother to hide his pleased smile.  “You’d miss garlic knots.”

“Yeah, fair.  Good point.”

Shiro eyed Hunk as Pidge served herself and passed the spatula on.  “Was there a special occasion? This takes a while to make, doesn’t it?”

“Uh.”  Hunk’s cheeks went pink.  “Like I said, Jameson’s test was tough.  And, well, I wanted something kind of involved to do.  Distracting. And it lasts forever in the freezer, too, and it just gets better when it sits for a while, so…”

“You did fine,” Matt offered.  He took the spatula when it was his turn and took a heaping helping.  His last few meals had been mostly cereal and energy bars, and he hadn’t felt hungry until it was in front of him.  But now he felt like he could eat the whole thing himself. “Seriously, you’re smarter than Jameson, no contest. If you missed anything, it was because it was one of his trick questions.”

Hunk sighed.  “Getting trick questions wrong is still points off.  Can we not talk about this? Please?”

Alright, fair enough.  So Matt held up his fork for Shiro to take.  “Want to try?”

“We have the exactly same thing,” Shiro pointed out, bone dry.  But he obligingly leaned down and took the mouthful, then let out a groan.  “Oh, that’s amazing.”

Pidge sighed dramatically.  “It’s going to be a weird wedding.  Bad enough I have to watch mom and dad be all lovey dovey.”

Shrugging one shoulder, Lance took a big bite of his food.  “I mean, it’s a wedding. They’re kinda supposed to be romantic.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I want to watch it.”  Pidge pushed around her food sulkily. “It’s going to be all people making out or people making drama.”

Keith blinked at her.  “I mean, it sounds boring, but how bad could it be?”

Barking out a laugh, Matt slumped back in his seat.  “Oh, you have no idea. Aunt Emma is going to be there, and it’ll be the first time she’s at a big family thing since the divorce.”

Immediately, Hunk’s eyes brightened, already on the scent of gossip.  “Divorce? Was there drama?”

“I mean, her husband was a dick, and no one liked him.”  Matt shrugged. “Everyone told her it was a bad idea, but she was totally set on him.  I think being told no just made her want to stay with him more. And he continued to be a jerk, until she finally had to admit everyone was right.  I’m glad the asshole’s gone, because he made holidays a nightmare, but she’s gunna be on the hunt for a scandal to distract from her.”

Hunk’s mouth fell open.  “Ooh. That part of why you wanted to do… all this?”

“Got it in one.”

Pushing his fork through the melted cheese and sauce, Shiro frowned at his plate.  “Huh.”

Pidge’s brows went up.  “Something wrong?”

“I-”  Shiro glanced up, then away.  “It’s just strange to hear you talk about family drama. You all get along so well, that I guess I assumed the rest of your family was just as calm.  It’s weird to think about.”

Lance let out a loud snort.  “Every family’s got drama, dude.  You kidding?”

Shiro gave a thin smile.  “Yeah, well, some families less dramatic.  I guess since I never heard about anything big, I thought there wasn’t any.”

Leaning in, Matt rubbed up and down his back.  “Sorry to burst your bubble. Most of the family is cool.  Even Aunt Emma is good most days. But, yeah, sorry. We’re a family of humans.  Not robots.”

“Not yet,” Pidge added. “I’m working on it.  But I won’t be ready before the wedding.”

Keith glanced at Shiro, his gaze softening with sympathy.  “It’s weird from the outside. I’ve never really had to deal with extended family.”

“Lucky you,” Lance said.  “You should have seen the fight between two of my cousins last year.  Phones were broken. Voices were lost. Relationships were ruined. It was bad.”  He launched into the full story, hands flying as he spoke.

Eventually, Shiro collected himself again as the attention stayed on Lance.  But he didn’t pull away from Matt’s touch, so Matt didn’t take it back.

It was practice, anyway.

***

Matt grunted as he pulled his suitcase out of the trunk.  Normally he preferred to pack light, but the stupid wedding meant having all kinds of nice clothes, carefully packed so he wouldn’t ruin them in transit. 

“You need a hand?” Shiro asked, peering at him over the top of his aviators - actual fucking aviators, the cliched bastard.  He’d worn them the whole drive here, too. It looked strange with the crisp blue button down, tie, and slacks he’d insisted on wearing, even though today wasn’t even rehearsal.

Despite being pretentious, it looked good on him.  Shiro looked good, just like he always did. Which hadn’t been weird until Matt started to think about it.  After rooming together for so long, he’d managed to get immune to Shiro’s looks, but now it was all coming back.  Worse, he could only blame himself for it.

Sticking out his tongue, Matt yanked up the handle and moved out of the way.  “I’ve got it.”

“You sure?  It’d be the boyfriend thing to do.”  Shiro raised one brow as he pulled out his own suitcase, then went ahead and took Pidge’s bag too.  He visibly strained from the weight - no doubt it had more technology in it than clothes.

Matt snorted.  “Relax. You don’t have to make a big production out of us.  Play it casual, Romeo. Or at least try.” He eyed Shiro’s nice clothes again, then raised his brows.

Pushing the sunglasses up on top of his head, Shiro stared him down.  “I’m about to walk up to your parents, who I deeply admire, to tell them I’ve been lying to them about our life for the past ten months.  Even though I actually never did. So, yeah, I’m trying to make a good impression. Soften the blow a little.”

Oh.  Matt’s stomach dropped as he glanced at his parents house.  It was the same they’d had since he was a little kid, with the off-white paint overgrown garden.  

Matt was walking in there to lie to his parents, but that had been the entirety of his teenage existence.  What else was new? It was weird, but he wasn’t dreading the conversation. At least, not as much as he was going to hate coming totally clean after.

But this had to be harder for Shiro.  He hadn’t started this, he’d never lied to Matt’s parents (at least, not about this).  Yet he was about to take half the consequences. From two people he honestly adored and saw as family.

“Hey.  We don’t have to do this.  If you have cold feet, it’s fine.”  Matt stepped closer and put his hand on Shiro’s arm.  “This is my fault, not yours. I can handle it if it goes south.”

Shiro shook his head.  “I’m doing this for them, remember?  I want them to have a nice wedding.” There was a complicated kind of longing to his voice at that, a distance to his gaze as he looked over the unassuming suburban home.

Not for the first time, Matt bit back a question about Shiro’s parents.  He’d never heard a single detail about them, and he assumed that was deliberate.

“Alright.  But you can back out if you need to.”  Matt gave a final squeeze, then knocked on the car window.  “Hey, pipsqueak, get off your phone and get your shit.”

Pidge flipped him off, but finally unbucked herself and climbed out.  “I thought you two were having a moment,” she said, as if she’d been paying attention at all.  Even now, she didn’t lift her head from whatever mobile game she was addicted to this week. Instead she just held out a hand, and Shiro obediently handed her the strap of her bag.  She didn’t react at all to the sudden extra weight, and just threw it over his shoulder.

“Ready?” Matt asked, giving Shiro a quick smile.  

Shiro nodded, though the corner of his mouth was tight.  “Yeah, ready.” He held out a hand for Matt to take.

As he linked his fingers with Shiro’s, Matt thought about what a sight they made.  Shiro was picture-perfect - hair styled, shirt and pants ironed, posture straight. Matt was one of the few people who knew how much effort he put into looking effortlessly put together.  On the other side of the spectrum, Matt was wearing his obnoxiously orange pajama bottoms and an old t-shirt (’There are 10 kinds of people - those who understand binary and those who don’t’).  It was just his parents’ house, and he refused to be uncomfortable on the long drive, so there.

To anyone looking out their window and seeing them, they’d be horrifically mismatched.

Matt let out a snicker.

Shiro glanced over, brows up.  “Something funny?”

“We’re just the perfect representation of how everyone sees us, right now.”  He gestured between Shiro’s careful professionalism and his own slovenly comfort.

Considering that, Shiro tugged Matt in closer and pressed a kiss to his cheek.  “I think you look cute when you’re comfy.”

“Charmer.”  Despite Matt’s flat tone, his heart picked up speed.  How dare Shiro sound so sincere during a lie? Who gave him the right to be such a convincing boyfriend?

Oh, right.  Matt had. Why was this a good idea again?

Pidge groaned and pushed past them.  “Eugh. This is going to be such a long week.”  Then she opened the door. “Mom! Dad! We’re here!”

There was the familiar scramble of nails on hardwood as Baebae barreled his way down the hall.  He slammed into Pidge, nearly sending her off her feet, and jumped up for attention.

“Hey, boy!”  Pidge greeted.  She dropped to her knees to scratch behind his ears and grinned.  “Are you happy to see me? Am I your favorite? Yes, I am! Yes, I am!”

Footsteps clacked against the floor.  “Don’t let him jump around too much,” Colleen called, stepping into the room.  “His hips are getting bad. I don’t want him to hurt himself.” She held out her arms, and smiled as Pidge nearly threw herself into them.

Abandoned by his first target, Baebae instead made a beeline for Shiro.  He plopped down right on Shiro’s shoes, his heavily tail thumping eagerly against the floor, and ears up in happy recognition.

“Told you the damn dog likes you better,” Matt said, squeezing Shiro’s hand. 

Shiro let go to pet Baebae’s head.  “I’m just more novel. Hello, buddy.  Have you been a good boy?”

Ahead of them, Colleen finished squeezing Pidge within an inch of her life, then stepped back to look over her.  “Did you cut your hair shorter again?”

“Only a little,” Pidge said, running a hand through her curls.  “I just had a haircut.”

Colleen nodded.  “It looks good. Gave up on growing it out again?  You used to hate even getting it trimmed.”

“Mom, that was like, a decade ago.  It’s easier this way, and I don’t have to keep it tied back all the time.”  Pidge went in for another hug, then stepped back. “Go nag Matt instead.”

“Thanks, Rugrat,” Matt said.  “First, abandoned by my dog, then thrown under the bus by my little sister.  There is no love in this family anymore.”

Colleen put her hands on her hips.  “I’m guessing you don’t want a hug, then?”

Matt held up his arms in answer.

Immediately, she stepped over to pull him into a tight hug.  “Ugh, you’re so tall. I’m not over it. I liked you smaller than me.”  She pulled back and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “How was the drive?”

“Fine.  Shiro did most of the work.”  Matt gave her a tight hug back, leaning into her.  Despite the worries, despite the stress of the upcoming wedding, despite everything over the past few years, he just felt better in his mother’s arms.

“That sounds about right.  Hello, Shiro, dear.” Colleen let go to pull Shiro into a hug next.  He nearly had to bend double to let her wrap around his shoulders. It didn’t look like he minded, though - he wore that same look of soft awe he always had around her.  “Look at you, all dressed up. Do you have somewhere to be?”

“Just here,” Shiro said, smiling back.  “But it’s for a wedding. I thought I’d look nice.”

Colleen scoffed.  “That’s not for days!  Do you want to change into something more comfortable?  You can have the guest room tonight, but we’ll need to put you in Matt’s room when more guests start showing up.”

“I’m fine, and that’s no problem.  I live with him, I think I can manage close quarters.”  Shiro pulled back and glanced behind her. “Is Sam out?”

Colleen sighed.  “No, he’s upstairs.  He probably didn’t hear you come in.  You know how he is when he’s absorbed in something.  Doesn’t hear a thing.” She turned toward the stairs and cupped her hands up to her mouth.  “Sam! Come say hello to your children!”

There was a long pause. “They’re here?” Sam said.  “Why didn’t anyone call?”

Colleen shot them all a flat look over her shoulder.  “See what I put up with?”

Shiro smiled back, soft and just a bit wobbly.  “Well, you’re marrying him again, so I assume it’s worth it.”

“Is it though?” Colleen shook her head, but she was smiling too.  Then she glanced past both of them at the still open door. “Are we waiting for one more?”

Well, show time.

“Actually, no,” Matt said.  “This is everyone.”

Immediately, Colleen’s brows pulled together.  “Your boyfriend couldn’t come after all? We were looking forward to meeting him.”  

There were footsteps down the stairs as Sam finally joined them.  “Oh, he didn’t come? That’s a shame. Hello, all. Where’s my hugs?”  He swooped down to grab Pidge in a hug, since she was closest.

“Uh, no, he’s here.”  Matt glanced at Shiro, heart pounding in his chest.  It was the last chance for him to pull out, if he didn’t want to do this after all.

But Shiro just smiled back and gently laced his fingers with Matt’s.

Colleen and Sam froze and stared.

“Surprise,” Matt said, waving with his other hand.  “So I may not have been totally honest.”

There was a beat of silence.

Then pandemonium.


End file.
